


Got the Devil on me

by lielais_dumpis



Category: Far Cry 4
Genre: Bhadra that's my emotional support .44 magnum revolver, Blow Jobs, Canon-Typical Violence, Hand Jobs, M/M, Minor Character Death, Only Ajay's POV, PTSD, Post-Game, alcohol use, mentions of drug use, tiny retconned details shhhh don't notice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:07:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25674064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lielais_dumpis/pseuds/lielais_dumpis
Summary: Ajay rubs his eyes and then snickers. Right, so Pagan got bored of ruling his little kingdom doing whatever fucked up shit he was doing? What did Pagan think would happen? That Ajay would step into his shoes and live in his palace and rule Kyrat? He laughs. And laughs. And laughs until his laughter fizzles out.Well, Pagan’s gone and Ajay doesn’t give one shit about Kyrat, he’s fulfilled his mother’s wish, the only thing he came here to do in the first place.
Relationships: Ajay Ghale/Pagan Min
Comments: 13
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My friend started playing Far Cry 4 for the first time and dragged me into co-op, so here I am lowkey into it again 5 years later and writing a bunch of endgame scenes I always wanted to write but didn't. Here they are smacked together into a fic. 
> 
> Apologies if there's accents, English is not my native language and my knowledge of it consists of all the dialects of the world, and I only later remembered that Ajay, in fact, speaks American. Been going over what I've written so far to fix the spelling, but can only do it for what I know for sure isn't American English.

Ajay leans against the shrine’s wall, watching Pagan’s helicopter become a small dot in the sky until it vanishes completely. He exhales, loud and slow, feeling the weight of his mother’s wish gone from his shoulders. But the moment he placed her ashes next to his sister it’s like the veil of madness lifted and everything he’d done to get to this point came crashing down on him. Golden Path pointed a direction and he just went. The fact that he didn’t even question any of it. The ease with which he did it. A new weight to bear.

Lakshmana. He can’t help the sliver of resentment he feels for his mother for never telling him about her, about any of it, not even at the end since she clearly wanted to be returned here. For fucks sake, he didn’t even know it was his sister! He thought it was a place or something, neither Amita nor Sabal knew the name; without Pagan he probably wouldn’t have learned about her at all unless he found the shrine by himself. Chances of which are low, knowing that if he shot Pagan earlier, he would’ve radioed the Golden Path, informing them that the king is dead and they would storm this place, maybe even set it on fire. You never know, they’re too fond of lighting up anything that has to do with Min, sending him to burn posters and blowing up statues.

He also comes to the uncomfortable conclusion that he is… disappointed. About Pagan leaving. He wanted to talk to him. Talk to him more because… because he was the only connection he had left. Especially, when he felt less like a crazy maniac and more like a person when opening up about Ishwari. 

Or maybe Ajay had simply gotten used to his presence. He doesn’t _know_ anyone else here. But he supposes, it’s a far reach thinking he knows Pagan at all. Sabal may call him ‘brother’ but Ajay is just a tool for him, useful as long as he does what Sabal wants. Scattered acquaintances here and there, none to call a friend, none he can really trust. People who always want something from him. 

Pagan would just radio him and talk… well, rant. Was he also looking for a connection or was he simply bored? Either way eventually Ajay liked getting the calls. Sometimes he’d even laugh at whatever nonsense Pagan was going off about, unsure if he’s really _that_ absurd or just messing with Ajay. It’s scary what can become normal to a person.

He wonders about that first meeting at Paul’s place. What would have happened had he stayed? Would it be any different? Maybe Pagan would’ve dropped the country in his lap and left just like now. Would the just-arrived-in-Kyrat Ajay care about Pagan leaving? Would he care about Kyrat at all? He remembers the fork in Darpan’s shoulder and the blood-stained pen. Yeah, there was no way he was gonna stay back then. What ifs don’t really matter.

He doesn’t blame Pagan for leaving though, what with Ajay holding him at gun point the entire time. It’s not like he ever replied to Pagan’s radio calls. Replied to him ever, other than to tell him off twenty minutes ago. Pagan probably thought Ajay would shoot him eventually. Hell, Ajay thought he would shoot Pagan the second he saw his face, for once in control of the situation. And yet now, with mom at rest, Ajay suddenly feels very alone and very uncertain about what’s next.

Ajay knows his own madness is messing with his head when he wishes someone like Pagan Min didn’t leave. He knows he shouldn’t. He knows he should be glad Pagan is gone and this, whatever this is, is over.

He rubs his eyes and then snickers. _Kyrat belongs to you_. Right, so he got bored of ruling his little kingdom doing whatever fucked up shit he was doing? What did Pagan think would happen? That Ajay would step into his shoes and live in his palace and _rule_ Kyrat? He laughs. And laughs. And laughs until his laughter fizzles out. 

Well, Pagan’s gone and Ajay doesn’t give one shit about Kyrat, he’s fulfilled his mother’s wish, the only thing he came here to do in the first place. And so he pushes off the wall and brings up the radio. “Sabal, the palace is clear and Pagan Min is… gone.”

“Understood, I will send my men to secure it. We will have to celebrate it!” 

Ajay pauses. He… doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want any of it. He only hopes that despite all the death and all the blood on his hands, he can still go back. “Listen, Sabal, I’m gonna lay low for a while.” 

“Of course, Ajay, but we will still need your help. Are you alright?” 

“Yeah, I’m good, just… just need a break. Wanna take a very long nap, you know?” 

“No problem, brother. You have earned some rest. If you need anything, let the Golden Path know!”

“Thanks.” Ajay finishes and turns off his radio, hoping that Pagan being gone will help him keep Golden Path off his back, at least for a while. With one last look at the shrine, he heads back into the palace before the rebels swarm it. If this godforsaken country has a single laptop, it must be in the Royal Palace. He has to start thinking about how to get out of Kyrat.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title insp. from 'Own me' by bülow


	2. Chapter 2

After eavesdropping on a couple of Golden Path members during a supply run, Ajay hightails it to Jalendu Temple. What the hell is Sabal thinking, ritual murder in front of a kid? 

Ajay was planning on radio silence for a long while, find excuses if he needs to. With his documents gone he can’t just show up at the Indian border; doesn’t help that the infamous wifi has most of the global net blocked, making him unsuccessful in his attempts to email the US embassy in Patna. Not to mention he always has to sneak around eastern compounds - none of which are controlled by the Golden Path - to access it with the laptop in the first place. That part of the country is still heavy contested, but Ajay is not interested in participating in the civil war anymore, even if that makes him walk the extra mile. 

He barrels into the courtyard mid-executions and Sabal giving a speech about betraying and cleansing and gods, as he orders the bodies of Amita’s people moved and another group to be brought forth to be killed, all with Bhadra sat in front of the temple atop the stairs, forced to watch this. “Wait! Bhadra!” he hisses at Sabal in accusation. 

Sabal turns to look at her before walking towards him. “She is Tarun Matara now.” He says simply and Ajay stares at him as if that explains anything. When it’s clear Ajay is not backing down, Sabal continues. “Sins against the gods can only be washed away with blood. There must be a cleansing for us to move forward! Eventually, Tarun Matara will understand that.” He gets close to Ajay and whispers with anger. “Will you?” Ajay blinks at the threat in his voice and Sabal grabs him by the arm, pushes him in front of Bhadra, turning away to continue the slaughter.

Ajay clearly underestimated how fanatical Sabal really is. For some naïve reason he thought someone they regarded as a living goddess would be treated better. Was Amita right? Does he plan to marry her to solidify his power... Would that be sooner rather than later? Jesus, she’s fourteen years old! 

He looks up at Bhadra, sitting in the chair, at first glance looking composed, but Ajay sees her jaw clenched, mouth pinched, and too bright eyes, clearly holding back tears. She probably knew the people being executed, she was closer to Amita than Sabal. He knows she’s seen death, maybe to some point is even used to it. He hates to admit it, but war does that to a person. But this? Watching the throats being slit of fellow Golden Path members only because they sided with Amita? This isn’t that war anymore. And he’s not gonna leave it alone because if there’s one person left in Kyrat that Ajay still cares about, it’s Bhadra.

He stares at her and then rubs his eyes. Fuck, this isn’t going to go over well with Sabal, is it, he thinks with dismay, decision made. Then takes the few steps up and extends his hand. “Come with me, Bhadra, lets _leave_!” He emphasizes the last word to make sure she gets it means leaving all of… this. 

There’s no reason for her to stay, is there? No family left, no friends he’s seen her with, only made up duty pushed on her, the closest people she has probably are the people grooming her for the role of Tarun Matara.   
They will stay at his family house in the mountains until he can figure out how to leave Kyrat and bring Bhadra with him. She’s a kid, she deserves to have a semblance of childhood, do teenager stuff; she still can. He can try to make her life better at least. He hopes. He hopes it will be better without all this brutality.

Bhadra looks at him with wide eyes, her mouth opens and closes without saying anything, but then she gets up and puts her hand in Ajay’s. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” comes Sabal’s voice immediately. 

“Leaving.” Ajay replies, pushing Bhadra behind him and towards the stone sculpture to the side for cover. Turning to face Sabal, he uses the movement to mask pulling out his gun. 

“You would betray Kyrat now? By stealing away its goddess? You don’t deserve your father’s name.” 

Ajay can’t help the harsh laugh. “My father murdered my sister, she was a baby, Sabal. Her name was Lakshmana.” He sees Sabal’s eyes widen in surprise, but then narrow a split second later, connecting the dots. “I don’t give a shit about my father or his name.” Ajay continues anyway, resignation in his voice, coming to terms with what he has to do as he watches Sabal signal his men. So much for being a brother. 

They raise their weapons, but look hesitant, not quite willing to shoot Ajay so easily. He takes it as a sign he’s not about to be filled with bullets and, before anyone can react, he has his gun up, pulling the trigger. He feels Bhadra flinch behind him at the sound of the single gunshot and hates being the reason for it. Sabal drops and his men look at the body in shock and uncertainty. But like Ajay was hoping, they don’t fire at him. He doesn’t stay to think about it, tightens his grasp on Bhadra’s hand, pulls her into the other direction and they run.

Ajay is certain that nobody is even following them, but he keeps them moving fast anyway until they finally reach his vehicle. “Get in the back, stay low so nobody sees you.” Bhadra does as he says and he pulls out on the road. “Do you still have some of your stuff in Naccarapur? Banapur is too far to reach right now, we can sneak in there later, though, when things calm down.” Bhadra replies in confirmation and Ajay focuses on the road. He hopes nobody will bother them at the King’s bridge outpost, that news of him killing Sabal won’t travel ahead of them, but he remains tense and alert, watching everyone wearing blue and yellow with distrust.

———

He parks the car north side of the town, away from the main roads to the town and they walk the rest of the way on foot. Ajay stops under a thick copse of trees, just outside of Naccarapur, safe from the eyes and ears of the townsfolk and gives Bhadra a bag to put her things in. 

“You know, if you don’t… you can stay here, if you want. You don’t have to come with me.” 

“But I want to go with you.” she replies and Ajay blinks. 

“Okay, but I want you to know that you can go back. Even if you decide it later.” 

Bhadra gives him a tiny smile. “I know, Ajay. You’re the only person who has ever let me choose.”

“Oh.”

———

They’re driving in silence and Ajay is glad that the night is falling; he usually prefers climbing himself as it’s bound to attract less attention, but Bhadra won’t be able to climb a mountain to reach the house; he blocked the east access path with a small controlled explosion months ago. So they have to use the buzzer and the night will help them avoid being spotted. 

He’s also glad he was able to convince both Reggie and Yogi to leave after helping them get their passports back from one of Yuma's compounds; he wouldn’t feel safe if they were still here. They wouldn’t bother Bhadra, but who knows what dumb shit they could do when high; like giving drugs to a 14 year old. He doesn’t want to risk that.

“Ever flown in one of these?” 

“No.” Bhadra shakes her head, but looks excited. 

“Alright, if you want I’ll teach you to fly it some time, but for now let’s get to safety.” He straps the bag to the chopper and gets into the seat, settling Bhadra in his lap. It will be a bit tough to steer like this but it won’t be a long flight and there is no other way to get up the mountain. “Don’t worry, I got you.”

There’s not a lot of buzzers left after his Golden Path assisted rampage across the country, but it works for him. Less chance someone will fly by and see the house up in the mountains. Only Sabal and Amita knew he was staying up there. And Sabal and Amita are both dead now.

———

Ajay leads the way to the house, and up the stairs. “The top floor is yours. Settle in.” He says and drops her bag by the bed, watching her yawn. “Get some rest. We’ll figure things out tomorrow.”

“Alright.” She replies, wrapping arms around herself.

Ajay turns around to head downstairs but stops mid step. “Bhadra, I’m sorry… about Sabal.” 

“It’s fine, Ajay.” She says quietly and he turns to see her sitting down. “I know Sabal wouldn’t have let me leave, so it’s fine.” 

“But it’s not fine, Bhadra. I know you’re strong, but you don’t have to pretend to be that when you’re not. Not with me.” Ajay crouches in front of her and takes her face in his hands. “All the violence? All the death? It’s not okay. It’s not normal. All the stuff you’ve experienced? You never should have been made to see. Sabal shouldn’t have done that. It’s not normal and it should never be normal to you. Do you get it, Bhadra?” She’s nodding along with sudden tears in her eyes. “It’s okay to be scared, and it’s okay to not want to see people killed. And you had to see me do it, too. And I’m sorry for that. I can’t promise I will never do that again while we’re in this country, but I will try, okay? I don’t want to kill, but I might need to protect us.” She nods again and hugs Ajay, so he sits on the bed and pulls her into his lap, letting her sniffle into his shoulder. “I think we’ll be okay now. We’ll be okay.” He tries to comfort certain he’s fucking this up. Christ, he feels like such a fraud. He’s the same killer everyone else out there is.

“So I was thinking we could go to the United States. It’s across a whole ocean! I’m sure I can figure out how to get us back there, I’m already a citizen there. You could take classes and learn math and botany and stuff, and probably be good at it too, unlike me. I had the worst grades!” He hears her snort against his shoulder. Good sign. “I already know where we could stay. At least for a while. It’s a house mom and I rented rooms in before she… before I came here. Owned by an old lady who never cared about us being late on rent money. She had a big garden, mom loved it. And I’m getting you a playstation as soon as we get there because the fact that you don’t know what a video game is, is unacceptable. Or maybe you rather have books to read, whichever. We’re definitely going to theme parks too, the rides there won’t be as exciting as flying in a buzzer, but it’s close enough since you can’t just fly buzzers around the cities-” 

Ajay keeps talking about what they would do in the States and Bhadra reacts, occasionally nodding or shaking her head until she doesn’t, and Ajay slowly leans back to see her asleep. He turns and carefully places her on bed, pulling half of the blanket over her. Then stands up and lingers there, watching her tear-stained face. “Fuck. Guess I have a kid now, huh?” He mumbles soundlessly to himself and leans down to wipe her cheeks with the sleeve of his jacket. 

Finally, he climbs downstairs, clears the bench under the restored thangka, grabs a few new blankets and lies down. He’s unable to sleep, guilt gnawing at him like a hungry rat, thinking of all the ways he might have acted without killing Sabal, without immediately resorting to violence like he’s so god damned used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the good news is the next 4 chapters are drafted. the bad news is i've been dragged into, in order, wayhaven, hades game, baldur's gate 3 and now cyberpunk 2077. takemura anyone? i will get back to this :sob:


End file.
